Q: Why didn't the two worms get on Noah's Ark in an apple ?
A: Because everyone had to go on in pairs !

Q: What is worse than finding a maggot in your apple ?
A: Finding half an apple !

Q: How can you tell which end of a worm is which ?
A: Tickle it in the middle and see which end laughs !

Q: How do you make a glow worm happy ?
A: Cut off his tail, he'll be de-lighted !

Q: What's a glow worms favourite song ?
A: Wake me up before you glow glow !

Q: Why was the glow worm unhappy ?
A: Because her children weren't that bright !

Q: What do you get if you cross a glow worm with some beer ?
A: Light ale !

Q: What do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat ?
A: A dirty kid !

Q: What do worms leave round their baths ?
A: The scum of the earth !

Q: What did the maggot say to another ?
A: What's a nice maggot like you doing in a joint like this !

Q: What did the woodworm say to the chair ?
A: It's been nice gnawing you !

Q: What's yellow, wiggles and is dangerous ?
A: A maggot with attitude !

Q: How can you tell if you are looking at a police glow worm ?
A: it has a blue light !

Q: Why are glow worms good to carry in your bag ?
A: They can lighten your load !

Q: What do you get if you cross a glow worm with a python ?
A: A 15 foot strip light that can strangle you to death !

Q: What is a worm's favourite band ?
A: Mud !

Q: Who is the worm's Prime Minister ?
A: Maggot Thatcher !

Q: When should you stop for a glow worm ?
A: When he has a red light !

Q: What is the maggot army called ?
A: The Apple Corps !

Q: What happened to the glow worm who was squashed ?
A: He was de-lighted !

Q: What is the best advice to give to worm ?
A: Sleep late !

Q: What's the difference between a worm and an apple ?
A: Have you ever tried worm pie !

Q: What did the worm say to the other when he was late home ?
A: Where in earth have you been !

Q: What do you get if you cross a worm and an elephant ?
A: Very big worm holes in your garden !

Q: What reads and lives in an apple ?
A: A bookworm !

Q: What makes a glow worm glow ?
A: A light meal !

Q: Why do worms taste like chewing gum ?
A: Because they're wrigleys !

Q: Why did the sparrow go to the library ?
A: It was looking for bookworms !

Q: What is life like for a wood worm ?
A: Boring !